"Dammit I`m mad" backwards is still "dammit I`m mad"
Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend...you owe me
Dear parents, you should be happy i`m addicted to Facebook and not drugs.
I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.
Teacher: Did you read any books in July or August? Student: I read Facebook, Does it count?
Dear Google, could you sit next to me during exams?!
I make weird faces in photos because it’s better to look ugly on purpose.
Awkward moment when you log on Facebook, it says 9:30pm.. you look 2 minutes later and it says 12:45am.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `like` my own status? Of course I like my status. I`m hilarious and sexy.
Whenever I open the fridge, my dog looks at me like, "why don`t you eat all the food?"
Awkward moment when someone says it`s awkward while it`s normal.
"What happens in Vegas-" ...ends up on Facebook.
Sorry, I`m not tall enough to ride your emotional roller-coaster
Dear parents, I am fully aware that money doesn`t grow on trees. That`s why I`m asking you for it.
There are more cows in India, than cars in the U.S.
Don`t smoke cigarettes there are cooler ways to die.
I always start my diet on the same day... tomorrow!
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
When I was a kid "talk to the hand" was the best defense I had.
I`ve never been in love... But I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
Check out more funny status for Facebook on http://www.statusbook.net